"I really feel like this year[2016] is really about, like, the year of just realizing stuff. And everyone around me, we're all just, like, realizing things." -Kylie Jenner 2015 You're not wrong, Kylie. I sure did realize a lot this year. In 2016 I feel like I went to hell and back. Telling me to look on the positive will not change the fact that my 2016 was a  bad year.  In fact, I actually want to focus on all the negative of my past year. Why? Because it was in those moments I learned my greatest lessons. Don't get me wrong I did have some pretty great moments in 2016. I made it a year in LA, realizing this city is my home. I found a family in my church, got promoted in my job, and bought my own car all. by. myself. I am ending my year lost, hurt, and so very excited because there's only up from here. MY 2016 My two year relationship ended: I learned to listen to God's voice even when it hurts the most. No matter how much I disagree or hurt, His way end

 Stop telling me that the reason I'm single is because guys are intimidated by me.  That's not a comforting thought. Let me explain why:   I've had two recent failed relationships. The first was simply God calling us in two different directions, the second, well, the second caused me not only the loss of a friend of 5 years and the relationship itself, but it also caused me a lot of pain that I'm still trying to maneuver through.   So, if guys are so intimidated by me, and only the right guy will come along, how come the last guy shattered my heart? And the last guy shattered my self-esteem?   If the right guys are so intimidated by me, then why are the wrong guys not?   After my last little messy attempt at a relationship, I decided to spend the rest of 2016 single. That was only for about a couple of months, which for a boy-crazed, needy, nineteen year old, that's pretty difficult. I didn't just want to be single in the sense of not tying myself down