Like, realizing things

"I really feel like this year[2016] is really about, like, the year of just realizing stuff. And everyone around me, we're all just, like, realizing things." -Kylie Jenner 2015

You're not wrong, Kylie. I sure did realize a lot this year.

In 2016 I feel like I went to hell and back. Telling me to look on the positive will not change the fact that my 2016 was a bad year. 

In fact, I actually want to focus on all the negative of my past year. Why? Because it was in those moments I learned my greatest lessons.

Don't get me wrong I did have some pretty great moments in 2016. I made it a year in LA, realizing this city is my home. I found a family in my church, got promoted in my job, and bought my own car all. by. myself.

I am ending my year lost, hurt, and so very excited because there's only up from here.

MY 2016

My two year relationship ended: I learned to listen to God's voice even when it hurts the most. No matter how much I disagree or hurt, His way ends up being the most rewarding if I am faithful in following His steps.

I was torn down for cutting my hair: Every girl needs her 2007 Britney Spears or 2013 Mileh Cyrus moment. What happens when the one person you love says "You are not my type anymore"? Not once, but a few times. Now this person and I have made amends from this but I still dealt with the incredible insecurity that I must look one way in order for a guy to love me. But through healing and prayer and doing many different things to my appearance I learned  that opinions of others do not determine how I should view myself. 

Another relationship ended: I learned that when God says to be single the rest of the year, DO NOT step into the next relationship that comes your way. I learned what it's like to get "played" and what true heartbreak was. I also learned to hold my own and that I am worthy of much more.

A friendship of 5 years ended: Those who know the extent of the situation might be thinking, "Just get over it already." I am. But it still hurts. It hurst to have someone you loved so dearly just get up and walk out of your life in one day, and as they are walking out they decided to stab you in the back. I prayed that God would allow her to walk back into my life. I prayed that our friendship could be once more. Finally my prayer changed to, "God, if she's only going to hinder me, don't let her come back. But if she can come back and help my life be better, then bring her back." As 2017 is only a few hours away, I have made peace knowing that God allowed for a friend to walk out of my life for some untold reason. People will leave or be taken from your life in order for new, and better, people or opportunities to come. People will not come into the next season with you, because they were not meant to do so. It can hurt beyond words, but in the end, it is God's will, not my own.

There's nothing like losing a best friend, though.

I almost was a beauty school dropout: Due to financial issues, I almost walked away from Paul Mitchell, but with it being too expensive to dropout, I stayed. I learned you might not reach all your goals in the time you planned. I learned that you won't always see the problem being solved, sometimes you need to wait in the compromise before you can receive the solution. If God has moved mountains to get you to where you are at, He will surely move more as long as you walk in His path.

I got a speeding ticket: With that, I learned to slow down on the grapevine at 8 am during the holiday season.

I end 2016 not knowing what is next for my life. I don't know what God is doing when it comes to relationships, finances, school, or future traffic tickets. But I do know that at my lowest I saw God, just as I saw Him at my highest. 2016 was my setback that was preparation for my comeback. 

God is doing a new thing. So glasses raised to 2017, my best year yet.

Because the best is yet to come.