Skip to main content

I will not apologize

Speeding ticket. Traffic school. Parking violation. Insurance. Car loan. Tuition (for a school I dropped out of).

All of these finances loom over my head. What do you do when you have bill after bill after bill piling up while your hours at work are shrinking and shrinking? You get a second job? You find a new one all together? But what do you do when you feel God calling you to stay?

You stay.

At the beginning of this year, one of my pastors, Pastor Jessie, shared a message. She asked us to pray about a word that God would give us to be the theme and challenge of our year. God just wanted to make it rain on me and He gave me TWO words. Consistent expectation.

This year I've been challenged to consistently expect that God will take care of me, that God will transform me, and that my world will be rocked every single day.

So, as I sit with a day and a half left to pay my speeding ticket, being two hundred dollars short, and I await that school bill to come in and I see how open my work schedule is, I sit with my consistent expectation that God is going to take care of all of it.

I see that life can get hard sometimes, and I will not apologize for it. I will not apologize to myself or anyone for the hardships that can come, because that is life.

I've been reading through Job, even though I know the story like the back of my hand. Job was a blessed man who honored God greatly, and was blessed financially, with a large family, and pretty much the best life ever. Satan came to God and said that if God were to take it all away, Job would not praise Him the same, or at all. After losing all of his children, animals, home, and health, Job honored God. Job's own wife and his own friends told him to curse God and die, yet Job did not.

Finances will waver. Relationships are inconsistent and will fail you some days. Health is not always perfect. Life is messy. School isn't forever and neither are trials. But it is how you respond to the trials that leave an impact.

I can blame all the things around me. How dare that cop pull me over? How dare my manager over-staff the restaurant? How dare my school cost so much? How dare life get difficult?

But instead, I will learn and grow from all that is thrown at me.

Financial problems? I will learn to handle money and give it up to God. School problems? I will learn to stop running from God and surrender my future to Him. Relationship problems or lack of a relationship at all? I will learn to find my comfort and stability in Christ.

Every trial is a learning opportunity. Every struggle is a moment to give it to God and go deeper with Him. Every day is a new opportunity to let go of your old heart and old ways and walk closer with God.

So, if life is getting hard, I will not apologize. Because even in the midst of our chaos, God is still on the throne, calling us by name. Are you listening?


(P.S. Praise God for that direct deposit hitting just in time for that speeding ticket to get paid)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

God chose you, are you choosing Him?

Hi friends! Your multi-colored hair, coffee drinking, spaz of a friend is back. Life has been an adventure this last year and I find myself back in the town I graduated high school from, living with my parents for the first time in 5 years. I am in a bit of a transitional point in my life, with some time off. So, why not start writing again? As always, I want to be transparent and vulnerable with you. Today's writing is totally prompted by what God has recently been doing in me and I decided to share it with you. You see- I have been chasing a feeling. I have been searching for a way to fill a specific void in my heart. The concept of someone choosing me . Two of my closest friends have heard me sing this song for some time, especially the last few months. I have wanted someone to choose me. I wanted the boy who pursued something with my best friend behind my back, to choose me. I wanted my best friend in that moment, to choose me. I wanted every guy in every failed relat...
Post a Comment
Read more

The rest of my life...

Let me ask you a question: If where you are currently at is exactly where God called you to be for the rest of your life, how would you respond? This question was brought up during a venting session I had with two of my closest friends. I have been thinking about it over and over again. How would I respond? I'll be honest, most days my response is frustration. When I have served at what I considered to be the "bottom" I was constantly looking to my next season. I was constantly praying and hoping for God to elevate me out of where I currently was. I wonder how many opportunities to serve Christ I missed out on because I was always looking left or right for what I wanted as opposed to looking straight ahead to what He was doing. Matthew 25:29  "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away." That brings me to another question: ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Guard Your Heart- But Don't Build Walls

I think the quickest advice anyone ever gives when it comes to relationships- whether it be friendships, dating relationships, or business partnerships- is to "guard your heart". If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to "guard my heart" I would have enough money to hire Kylie Jenner's very attractive personal body guard. I get it..  Proverbs 4:23  "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." The problem with hearing "guard your heart" over and over again- no one told me what that meant so I began to interpret it as "build walls." I don't blame anyone for how I interpreted their advice but I feel as though many of us have begun to interpret protecting our heart as building walls up. So, what does it really mean to guard your heart- and how do we do it? Guard : (v) watch over in order to protect or control Okay- I think most of us know what "guard" means - but it's pretty ...
Post a Comment
Read more