 |
| it me |
Oh how she was so wrong.
So, what's next for me?
I will not be a hairstylist, in fact the only reason I am not dropping out of school is because I can not financially afford to drop out. But what will I be doing? I will be going to ministry school to be credentialed. Yes. I am leaving a life of possible buckets of money to go into full time ministry.
Why? Because it is something God has been calling me to do since I was 15 years old but for 4 years I have been running from what He has wanted me to do.
I grew up in the world of ministry. Born and raised a pastor's kid, I wanted to run far away from the stereotype of either becoming a hot mess or becoming a pastor. All my life I knew I would be in Los Angeles, but I thought it would be for performing. I had dreams to be an actress. Then, my senior year I decided to attend Paul Mitchell the School. My first few months I loved it. I am not exactly sure when I began to strongly dislike it, but it has been for a while.
The more I fell out of love with my school and career choice, the more I fell in love with my church and the leadership opportunities I was being given. The more I began to press into God the more I heard Him tell me to stop running.
After processing everything with my sister and pastors I have decided that this is where my life needs to be headed. I am terrified. I am excited. I can not explain the feeling I have to finally be walking in God's will, not mine.
Why would God open all the doors for me to get to beauty school only for me to want to walk away from it half way through?
Well, I believe that God saw my stubborness and said, "Okay. I'll allow you to do it your way to see that's not the best way."
I keep thinking about Jonah, the typical running away from God story, and it really sits with me. In Jonah 1:3-4 "But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed to Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord. Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up." God allowed Jonah to get on the boat, allowing Jonah to do his thing, only for a storm to come. In my devotions this morning I read Matthew 11:28-30 "...I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you..." God did not force me, or Jonah, to do anything. He called us, we heard and we said "lol no" and we walked our own way. Each path I was choosing to take, God kept pointing me back to Him because deep in my heart my only desire is to serve Him fully, even if I fall short most times. Finally, God sent my storm and it was in the midst of the hurricane that I finally decided to listen.
"Where there is fear, there is opportunity. Where there is greater fear, there is greater opportunity."
I grew up in the world of ministry. Born and raised a pastor's kid, I wanted to run far away from the stereotype of either becoming a hot mess or becoming a pastor. All my life I knew I would be in Los Angeles, but I thought it would be for performing. I had dreams to be an actress. Then, my senior year I decided to attend Paul Mitchell the School. My first few months I loved it. I am not exactly sure when I began to strongly dislike it, but it has been for a while.
The more I fell out of love with my school and career choice, the more I fell in love with my church and the leadership opportunities I was being given. The more I began to press into God the more I heard Him tell me to stop running.
After processing everything with my sister and pastors I have decided that this is where my life needs to be headed. I am terrified. I am excited. I can not explain the feeling I have to finally be walking in God's will, not mine.
Why would God open all the doors for me to get to beauty school only for me to want to walk away from it half way through?
Well, I believe that God saw my stubborness and said, "Okay. I'll allow you to do it your way to see that's not the best way."
I keep thinking about Jonah, the typical running away from God story, and it really sits with me. In Jonah 1:3-4 "But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed to Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord. Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up." God allowed Jonah to get on the boat, allowing Jonah to do his thing, only for a storm to come. In my devotions this morning I read Matthew 11:28-30 "...I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you..." God did not force me, or Jonah, to do anything. He called us, we heard and we said "lol no" and we walked our own way. Each path I was choosing to take, God kept pointing me back to Him because deep in my heart my only desire is to serve Him fully, even if I fall short most times. Finally, God sent my storm and it was in the midst of the hurricane that I finally decided to listen.
"Where there is fear, there is opportunity. Where there is greater fear, there is greater opportunity."
I want to thank everyone who has helped me and supported my in my journey. Growing up is hard. Figuring out what to do with the rest of your life is a lot to do at 18 years old. As I am nearing my 20th birthday I am so blessed to have this path for my life. I have a lot more lessons to learn in life and I have a lot more growing to do, but I am so thankful for all those who are on this journey with me. Thank you.
I said it the beginning of this month and I'll say it again: The best is yet to come.
Comments
Post a Comment