Self-inflicted Stress

If I happened to be on a date (holla) or I was in a job interview and I was asked, "What is one thing you are really good at?" I would respond with "stressing", at least, thats what I have been really good at in this past season.

This past season has been a tough season as I navigate through moving from my dream city, L.A., and moving up to a place that was no where near ever being on my radar, Sacramento. The very fact that I am even moving out of L.A. means God really was speaking to me. If you know me, there is nothing I want more in my life than to walk out in obedience daily. But walking out in obedience is hard. Especially when you work a part time job, finally feel fully connected in your church, signed a year lease on your apartment, and finally felt that you were right where you were supposed to be in life. 

Well, I was right where I felt I was supposed to be in life. Let me paint you my picture: 20 year old girl who dreamed of living in L.A. since as long as she can remember, was called to L.A. at 15 years old, is now living in her top floor apartment on Hollywood and Highland, the heart of Hollywood, going home every night to her yorkie that might as well be her son, runs the social media for a church, and is financially independent and somehow making it. Oh, and then one day, God calls her to pack up everything and move back up to Northern California, which she thought she had seen the last of 8 years ago. 

Obedience is hard. 

Especially if you like to figure out how and when everything will fall into place. So, getting out of my lease, affording to move, walking through transition in the church, and this whole past month or two has been quite stressful on the girl who is prone to taking matters into her own hands instead of waiting on the Lord. 

That is why I stress. When I see a need in my life and I don't see it getting solved immediately, I stop waiting on God and try to figure it all out for myself. God has audibly promised me things and I have still stopped waiting on Him because I didn't see it happen in my own timing. 

So, how do I stop that? How do I cope with the self-inflicted stress?

• Trust Him

Deuteronomy 31:8 "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you."

Okay think about this: You are walking on this unknown, and to you, uncharted path called life. You have no idea what is around each corner. Scary, huh?

Now think about this: This path is unknown and uncharted to YOU. But, our God has gone before you, seen the path, knows whats ahead and how and when you'll deal with it, and to make it all better, He walks through it all again with you and NEVER leaves you.

So, why stress? Why focus on what is unknown to you but totally known by the Lord? Why try to figure out the journey when He has already planned it for you? 

• God has not forgotten you

Genesis 8:1 "But God remembered Noah and all the wild animals and livestock with him in the boat. He sent a wind to blow across the earth, and the floodwaters began to recede." 

It rained for forty days and forty nights, then for 150 days the earth was flooded. There Noah and his family sat in the boat waiting. I'm sure days went by where they must have thought that God forgot about them. But God remembered Noah and got them off that stank boat. If God is remembering Noah after 150 plus days, why would He not remember you and your needs?

• Let go and give thanks

Philippians 4:6-7 "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I take my needs and turn them over in my mind over and over.. and over.. again. Each verse I have written has been influential to me personally these past few months. When I read this verse, though I read it many times before, it was as if someone had finally just smacked me and said, "Duh, Jessica." How could God move in my life if I wasn't giving Him my needs? How could I say, "God do something," if I wasn't giving Him anything to do something with?

But theres more to just piling things on God. Are you thanking Him? And not just thanking Him when He has done what you want, but thanking Him before you even see what He is going to do?

God already has the victory. He has already won whatever you are trying to fight. 1 John 4:4 "But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world."

So, long story short, how have I been learning to deal with my self-inflicted stress in this crazy season? I have learned these things: God has already gone before me and seen what I have yet to see, He has not forgotten me, He can't move with what I haven't given up to Him, and He already has the victory. I can find comfort in those things. I can walk into this next season, which is even more unknown to me, and I can walk fearlessly because I know that my God will never fail me.