Skip to main content

Even when it hurts

Do you ever drive on the 80 East and literally start sobbing to God begging Him to move in a certain area of your life? Or while walking your dog, do you demand that He hardens your heart towards someone who hurt you? How about when you stare out your window at the big trees that provide privacy and whisper to God, "Why?"

Just me?

Oh.

I think we all come to moments where we push cordialness in our prayers aside and we get real with God. We may scream, cry, or simply just ask God "why?" Why did you bring me here? Why did you let them hurt me? Why have you not allowed me to quit a job I hate? Why have you allowed to happen all that has happened? Why? Why? Why.

I will be real, the majority of my prayer life lately has been singing praises to God of the redemptive stories that I have watched take place as of recently, but then I have my mornings, where I break, and I cry, and sometimes I even scream at God. (Let's all also remember I am just overly dramatic).

God, why?

Here's why:

God is a God of order.
God has a process.
And there is pain in the process.


Because God is a God of order, He is going to move things around a bit. He will take things away, He will add things, He will move you or move things; pretty much, He will set up everything around you to work in you to get you to where He needs you to be. This process hurts. We lose relationships, sometimes jobs, we are pushed away from all things comfortable, and pretty much nothing makes sense anymore. That's when all our why's come in. God, why did that friend have to leave my life? God, why did my steady job let me go? God, why did you tell me to drop out of beauty school, pack my bags, and move to a whole new city? God, why? Why? Why. I could list at least a million more of the why's I have cried out within this last week.

Here is the thing: I am not going to know the why right now. I am not going to fully comprehend the order that is being set up, the process I am going through, until one day I am where God intended me to be and I look back and see my journey and think to myself, "That's why."

So, what do I do in the meantime?

Because in the meantime I am hurting. People compare this, what I would call the "Why Season", to child birth. You are getting ready to give birth to the purpose and promise God has for you, but you go through some uncomfortable and painful moments.

Remember, its okay to cry. But be careful who you cry to. Are you crying to God and those who will point you back to God, or are you crying to those who will tell you what you want to hear and justify the place you are in?

In Isaiah, King Hezekiah was sick and dying and the prophet Isaiah came to him and said, "Bro, you're gunna die." Isaiah 38:1 (JLT- Jessica Lair Translation).  King Hezekiah was like "Yo, I don't want to die yet!" and he prayed to God and "wept bitterly." Then the Lord responded and said "... I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will add fifteen years to your life..." Isaiah 38:5.

You can cry, you can hurt, but don't dwell in it and make sure that those who see your tears are the ones who will always remind you of the God you serve and that He is always at work.

What else do you do in the "Why Season"?
"Even when it hurts, I will praise you." -Hillsong United
Praise God that this season is here, because that means He is at work. Praise God that He is doing a new thing in your life. Because when you get to where you are going, you'll look back on this season and think, that makes sense now. Even King Hezekiah thought that: "But what could I say? For he himself sent this sickness. Now I will walk humbly throughout my years because of this anguish I have felt. Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You restore my health and allow me to live. Yes, this anguish was good for me, for you have rescued me from death and forgiven all my sins." Isaiah 38:15-17. 

God, even though it hurts like hell, I will praise you, because there is purpose for this pain. God, even when I bitterly cry because I don't yet understand the process, I will praise you. God, I will praise you because you see my tears, hear my cries, and heal my hurts. God, I will praise you for the painful process. I will praise you for the shift in my life as you put things in order. I will praise you now through this pain, so when you show me why, I can look back and say "I didn't know why, but through it all I trusted God and His process."

Because even when it hurts, I trust you.
Because even when it hurts, I praise you.
Because even when it hurts, you are my God and I choose to serve you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

God chose you, are you choosing Him?

Hi friends! Your multi-colored hair, coffee drinking, spaz of a friend is back. Life has been an adventure this last year and I find myself back in the town I graduated high school from, living with my parents for the first time in 5 years. I am in a bit of a transitional point in my life, with some time off. So, why not start writing again? As always, I want to be transparent and vulnerable with you. Today's writing is totally prompted by what God has recently been doing in me and I decided to share it with you. You see- I have been chasing a feeling. I have been searching for a way to fill a specific void in my heart. The concept of someone choosing me . Two of my closest friends have heard me sing this song for some time, especially the last few months. I have wanted someone to choose me. I wanted the boy who pursued something with my best friend behind my back, to choose me. I wanted my best friend in that moment, to choose me. I wanted every guy in every failed relat...

The rest of my life...

Let me ask you a question: If where you are currently at is exactly where God called you to be for the rest of your life, how would you respond? This question was brought up during a venting session I had with two of my closest friends. I have been thinking about it over and over again. How would I respond? I'll be honest, most days my response is frustration. When I have served at what I considered to be the "bottom" I was constantly looking to my next season. I was constantly praying and hoping for God to elevate me out of where I currently was. I wonder how many opportunities to serve Christ I missed out on because I was always looking left or right for what I wanted as opposed to looking straight ahead to what He was doing. Matthew 25:29  "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away." That brings me to another question: ...

Guard Your Heart- But Don't Build Walls

I think the quickest advice anyone ever gives when it comes to relationships- whether it be friendships, dating relationships, or business partnerships- is to "guard your heart". If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to "guard my heart" I would have enough money to hire Kylie Jenner's very attractive personal body guard. I get it..  Proverbs 4:23  "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." The problem with hearing "guard your heart" over and over again- no one told me what that meant so I began to interpret it as "build walls." I don't blame anyone for how I interpreted their advice but I feel as though many of us have begun to interpret protecting our heart as building walls up. So, what does it really mean to guard your heart- and how do we do it? Guard : (v) watch over in order to protect or control Okay- I think most of us know what "guard" means - but it's pretty ...