My sister lives across the world with a 10 hour time difference and a newborn baby. One night I couldn't take it anymore and I sent her a long text message asking her a series of "why" questions.
Why was I still single? Why wasn't it my turn? Why do people keep walking out of my life? Why is it that I have accomplished all I have wanted to at this age but I have no one to share it with? Why wasn't the desire of my heart being met? Just, why?
I knew my sister didn't know the answer to any of those questions- but I did definitely hope the Lord would give her some insight and she could just give me answers. Instead of answers, she said to me, "My prayer is that you see the Lord as your satisfaction."
Jennaya. Not what I wanted to hear.
I wrestled with that for so long because to me, I knew that I was in such a healthy place with my relationship with God. I had never been so deeply in love with the Lord and emotionally and mentally I was in a great place. I knew what it was to desire the Lord first and to chase after Him no matter the cost, so for a while I discounted what my sister said.
But because for a large part of my life my sister has had a tendency to be right, I kept it in the back of my mind and one day, almost out of nowhere, it made sense. I finally got what my sister was saying.
For so long I thought all these desires of my heart would be wrapped up in one person and because I thought God could only meet these desires in only one certain way, I almost missed it. The reality is- God had been meeting the desires of my heart all along.
He answered it in the friends He sent my way- the very friends who pray over me, even if I don't ask for prayer. The friends who have pancake breakfasts with me and come over and cook a steak dinner. The friends who know which coffee shop to find me in at what time. The friends who have grown to know me more than I know myself sometimes.
He answered it in the job I have and the church I attend and work for. Not only in how I am taken care of by my bosses but also in the people I see on Sundays. The very people who check in on me to make sure I have the right cooking utensils for my nonstick pans. The very people who wrap me up in hugs so tight I can't breath. The people who make sure I have somewhere to go to for every holiday.
He answered it in ways that could only ever speak to me. Psalm 139:1 "O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me." No one knows me as in depth as the Lord knows me. He knows what I want and what I will need. He knows what is good, bad, and best for me. He knows who needs to be in my immediate circle and who will either bring harm or hold me back from all He has for me. He knows me so well- that just last week I decided I wouldn't get my nails done because I wouldn't be able to afford a fill and then I got two random checks in the mail that not only let me get my claws done but I was able to put extra money in savings.
It's the little ways that the Lord knows me and because I was so focused on one big thing I almost missed the multitude of things He has been putting my life.
So- as a single person, guy or girl, young or.. older, how is this important in my single season?
It is so important that you need to even understand it when you are not single! I think for all of us there is a time where we desire something that seems so big to us it becomes our entire focus. Yes, "never stop praying." (1 Thessalonians 5:17) Yes, the Lord knows the desires of our heart but we can't let that distract us from God being God.
God knows you better than anyone else. He has directed your steps and He has gone before you and knows what is ahead. That person you may be praying to step into a relationship with may have some deeper heart issues that could bring you harm that you don't see yet. Maybe- and this happened for me- maybe God is getting ready to shift your life completely and it will require you making a decision thats best for you and only you and you making that decision could be clouded by you wanting to bring someone along who isn't supposed to come along. He is not keeping you single as a punishment but as an opportunity to grow, heal, and experience Him in a way you have yet to experience Him before.
"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires." Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the Lord. Let your focus and source come directly from the Lord and everything else will flow. What I came to realize is that what I thought would fill every desire would only fill it partially and momentarily and what God was giving me was abundant and long term.
As I have begun to see the Lord as my sole source of satisfaction, I have seen God outside of the box I was putting Him in. God moves in more ways than just your job and your dating/marriage relationship. He moves in friendships and in your home. He shows up in little things like bringing sunshine after the storm. He speaks through random phone calls from that lady in your church and through your intimate, set-aside time with Him.
What I am trying to say is, set your focus solely on Him and let God be God and everything else will flow in His perfect timing and His perfect way. We can't let our desires distract us from seeing the many ways in which God can move and is trying to move.
I can say this from experience- when you let God be the source of your satisfaction, you really will end up living your best life.
Keep praying and keep desiring, but please, look for God in every moment and see that He really does know you more than anyone. He knows how to love you better than anyone and that's what will carry you through any and every season- single or not.
So, Jennaya, I guess you were right. The Lord truly is my satisfaction.
Why was I still single? Why wasn't it my turn? Why do people keep walking out of my life? Why is it that I have accomplished all I have wanted to at this age but I have no one to share it with? Why wasn't the desire of my heart being met? Just, why?
I knew my sister didn't know the answer to any of those questions- but I did definitely hope the Lord would give her some insight and she could just give me answers. Instead of answers, she said to me, "My prayer is that you see the Lord as your satisfaction."
Jennaya. Not what I wanted to hear.
I wrestled with that for so long because to me, I knew that I was in such a healthy place with my relationship with God. I had never been so deeply in love with the Lord and emotionally and mentally I was in a great place. I knew what it was to desire the Lord first and to chase after Him no matter the cost, so for a while I discounted what my sister said.
But because for a large part of my life my sister has had a tendency to be right, I kept it in the back of my mind and one day, almost out of nowhere, it made sense. I finally got what my sister was saying.
For so long I thought all these desires of my heart would be wrapped up in one person and because I thought God could only meet these desires in only one certain way, I almost missed it. The reality is- God had been meeting the desires of my heart all along.
He answered it in the friends He sent my way- the very friends who pray over me, even if I don't ask for prayer. The friends who have pancake breakfasts with me and come over and cook a steak dinner. The friends who know which coffee shop to find me in at what time. The friends who have grown to know me more than I know myself sometimes.
He answered it in the job I have and the church I attend and work for. Not only in how I am taken care of by my bosses but also in the people I see on Sundays. The very people who check in on me to make sure I have the right cooking utensils for my nonstick pans. The very people who wrap me up in hugs so tight I can't breath. The people who make sure I have somewhere to go to for every holiday.
He answered it in ways that could only ever speak to me. Psalm 139:1 "O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me." No one knows me as in depth as the Lord knows me. He knows what I want and what I will need. He knows what is good, bad, and best for me. He knows who needs to be in my immediate circle and who will either bring harm or hold me back from all He has for me. He knows me so well- that just last week I decided I wouldn't get my nails done because I wouldn't be able to afford a fill and then I got two random checks in the mail that not only let me get my claws done but I was able to put extra money in savings.
It's the little ways that the Lord knows me and because I was so focused on one big thing I almost missed the multitude of things He has been putting my life.
So- as a single person, guy or girl, young or.. older, how is this important in my single season?
It is so important that you need to even understand it when you are not single! I think for all of us there is a time where we desire something that seems so big to us it becomes our entire focus. Yes, "never stop praying." (1 Thessalonians 5:17) Yes, the Lord knows the desires of our heart but we can't let that distract us from God being God.
God knows you better than anyone else. He has directed your steps and He has gone before you and knows what is ahead. That person you may be praying to step into a relationship with may have some deeper heart issues that could bring you harm that you don't see yet. Maybe- and this happened for me- maybe God is getting ready to shift your life completely and it will require you making a decision thats best for you and only you and you making that decision could be clouded by you wanting to bring someone along who isn't supposed to come along. He is not keeping you single as a punishment but as an opportunity to grow, heal, and experience Him in a way you have yet to experience Him before.
"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires." Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the Lord. Let your focus and source come directly from the Lord and everything else will flow. What I came to realize is that what I thought would fill every desire would only fill it partially and momentarily and what God was giving me was abundant and long term.
As I have begun to see the Lord as my sole source of satisfaction, I have seen God outside of the box I was putting Him in. God moves in more ways than just your job and your dating/marriage relationship. He moves in friendships and in your home. He shows up in little things like bringing sunshine after the storm. He speaks through random phone calls from that lady in your church and through your intimate, set-aside time with Him.
What I am trying to say is, set your focus solely on Him and let God be God and everything else will flow in His perfect timing and His perfect way. We can't let our desires distract us from seeing the many ways in which God can move and is trying to move.
I can say this from experience- when you let God be the source of your satisfaction, you really will end up living your best life.
Keep praying and keep desiring, but please, look for God in every moment and see that He really does know you more than anyone. He knows how to love you better than anyone and that's what will carry you through any and every season- single or not.
So, Jennaya, I guess you were right. The Lord truly is my satisfaction.
Xoxo,
Blue
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