One of the "go-to" responses people give to me on singleness is: "You have to find the place and walk in your purpose before you find your person."
I rolled my eyes every time. That's not how I wanted it to happen. I wanted to find my person three years ago while I was still in beauty school in Los Angeles, running from the call of ministry. I remember praying one night and feeling deep in my soul my person did not live in L.A. which that's okay, I just had to wait for him to move there, right? Little did I know God was going to move me. It was as if after every milestone in my life I thought, "Okay this is it! This was the defining moment for me to find my person." But after dropping out of school, moving to a whole new city, quitting a part time job and being promoted within the best job ever, being financially stable, and finally- being ordained as a pastor- I came to realize something, it's not just about the place and the purpose, but the timing of it all.
I began dating someone who had asked me on a date six months prior and, bad habit of mine, I had ghosted him. But when we began going on dates, six months later, I was able to honestly say that during that time of my life was the wrong time for me to date anyone. As I look back on certain moments I begged God for a relationship I can easily see how, no, I couldn't have handled a relationship for various reasons. Some moments I would have hurt the other person because of my own bottled-up brokenness or I didn't have the emotional capability to be with someone or even, I didn't understand how to fully receive love.
So, here is what I have learned about timing in general.
God is a God of order
1 Corinthians 14:33 "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God's holy people."
This is even outside of relationships- things have to be in order. Whenever a promise is spoken, order precedes. If I had gotten in a relationship while living in L.A. well, maybe I wouldn't have even gotten to Sacramento. God had so much in my life that I had to walk through first. I had to have my calling, have my city and even have myself whole before I could ever walk through life with my person. If your promise hasn't come to pass, it's not because it won't ever happen or you have to jump through some final hurdle, but because some things need to be put in place before you can unlock or even see your blessing. It very well could also be, maybe that your person isn't quite ready for you. The Lord could be holding you while He gets things in order in someone else's life so you two together can be a blessing to each other.
You have to recognize what season you are in
Ecclesiastes 3:1 "For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven."
You know, it's not a punishment to be single. We shouldn't see being single as a burden, actually being single can be on of the most freeing and growing seasons of our life. While God is getting things in order, I personally tend to look too far ahead and think, "If only I could get to that moment in my life." That very thought has caused me to miss out on what God is doing in me now. My friend and I have said, it's not that I am in a season of singleness but walking through seasons single. I walked through a season of healing, a season of moving, a season of breakthrough, and lately, I have been in this beautiful season of being intimate with just the Lord and I. Being single, I have been able to experience the Lord in such a personal way. I have made my identity in Him and Him alone. If I continued to look ahead to a season I am not yet given access too, I would have missed out on the beauty of all that the Lord has done for just. me. and no one else. Nope. No boy was the one who pushed me or held me through certain season, it was just God. This past year was the BIGGEST year of my life and I did it with just the Lord and I- and the community of people He placed in my life. It was amazing.
So, recognize the season you are in and enjoy it.
As long as you are breathing, your promise will still come to pass
Joshua 21:45 "Not a single one of all the good promises the Lord had given to the family of Israel was left unfulfilled; everything he had spoken came true."
Are you alive? Check your pulse. You got one? Cool. Your turn will come. The truth is, our own timing is different. What needs to be in order is different for each and every person. Maybe God wants you to visit a country by yourself or maybe He wants you to get that promotion with your person by your side. Whenever and however is different for every single person. So, I can't tell you what timing will look like for you exactly, but what I will say is this: trust the timing because your turn will come. He hasn't forgotten what you desire and pray for. He hears what you pray for. He knows what is good for you and your turn will come. I know that for a fact because well, if you are reading this that means you are alive so you already are on the right track to receive your promise. Way to be alive. Good job.
Trust the timing. Enjoy the season. Breath. Your singleness is not a curse or a punishment. Some of the best things in life have the longest waiting time. Home-cooked meals as opposed to fast food meals. Fine wine. Me. Just kidding. Kind of. Holla at yo girl.
So, as you begin to find your place and walk in your purpose- trust the timing of finding your person. Don't waste the waiting season being antsy for the next season, but live every day in the fullness of who, you as an individual, are supposed to live in it. Don't miss it because we can't understand it. Just enjoy it.
Xoxo,
Blue
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