One of the "go-to" responses people give to me on singleness is: "You have to find the place and walk in your purpose before you find your person ." I rolled my eyes every time. That's not how I wanted it to happen. I wanted to find my person three years ago while I was still in beauty school in Los Angeles, running from the call of ministry. I remember praying one night and feeling deep in my soul my person did not live in L.A. which that's okay, I just had to wait for him to move there, right? Little did I know God was going to move me . It was as if after every milestone in my life I thought, "Okay this is it! This was the defining moment for me to find my person." But after dropping out of school, moving to a whole new city, quitting a part time job and being promoted within the best job ever, being financially stable, and finally- being ordained as a pastor- I came to realize something, it's not just about the place and the purpose, b...

My sister lives across the world with a 10 hour time difference and a newborn baby. One night I couldn't take it anymore and I sent her a long text message asking her a series of "why" questions. Why was I still single? Why wasn't it my turn? Why do people keep walking out of my life? Why is it that I have accomplished all I have wanted to at this age but I have no one to share it with? Why wasn't the desire of my heart being met? Just, why? I knew my sister didn't know the answer to any of those questions- but I did definitely hope the Lord would give her some insight and she could just give me answers. Instead of answers, she said to me, "My prayer is that you see the Lord as your satisfaction." Jennaya. Not what I wanted to hear. I wrestled with that for so long because to me, I knew that I was in such a healthy place with my relationship with God. I had never been so deeply in love with the Lord and emotionally and mentally I was in a gre...

I think the quickest advice anyone ever gives when it comes to relationships- whether it be friendships, dating relationships, or business partnerships- is to "guard your heart". If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to "guard my heart" I would have enough money to hire Kylie Jenner's very attractive personal body guard. I get it..  Proverbs 4:23  "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." The problem with hearing "guard your heart" over and over again- no one told me what that meant so I began to interpret it as "build walls." I don't blame anyone for how I interpreted their advice but I feel as though many of us have begun to interpret protecting our heart as building walls up. So, what does it really mean to guard your heart- and how do we do it? Guard : (v) watch over in order to protect or control Okay- I think most of us know what "guard" means - but it's pretty ...

HeLloOoOoOooooo ... If you have ever answered a phone call from me you would read that in my exact voice- if you haven't- call me ;) jk. But yes, hello! I am back and I am promising myself that this post will not be - yet another - draft that never sees the light of day. I started this blog this month three years ago and I think this year I wrote a total of.. oh maybe three posts? Which for me- I find that unfortunate as I did the one thing I promised my dad I wouldn't do. I promised my dad I would "never stop writing" and yet here I was- not writing. But thanks to some encouragement from my old roommate/close friend, Katherine, I am determined to write out all the things I have stored up in my mind and heart. So Katherine, and anyone else who has always encouraged me to continue writing, this blog is dedicated to you. Not because the topic is related to you in any sort of way- but because part of my healing process is through writing and through all of the encou...

Hello my beautiful readers! Where in the world have I been? Well, I have been frolicking around drinking $7 almond milk lattes, dying my hair blue, eating far too many bagels from Noah's Bagels, and I have been doing all of this in Sacramento for exactly a year now! That's right, the beautiful city of Sacramento and I are celebrating our one-year anniversary.  We accept cash, coffee, or you can Venmo (@JessicaNicole-Lair)/Cashapp(@jessnicolelair) to congratulate our wonderful relationship. If you know me at all you know that I am super sentimental when it comes to memories or anniversaries. I am just one who loves to look back on what I was doing this time a year ago and see how far I have come. As I sit here at my favorite coffee shop and think back on what I was doing on this day last year I am hit with every emotion that is humanly possible. I could write about the hardships and each lesson I learned, or I could write about how every plan I ever had about my life vanis...

Let me start off this blog post with a background on who I am. First off, I am a millennial. I also am a pastor's kid who has been surrounded by the church her entire life. I have been to the small hometown church to the big, three-services-a-day church. I have been the PK running around, the staff member running behind the scenes, and the new comer in the corner awkwardly sipping the burnt coffee.  When I was 18 years old, I moved from the Bible-belt of California (Bakersfield) to Los Angeles. I began attending a church plant, only two-years old at the time, in the heart of Hollywood. For six months I got to church just in time for service to start and I was always the first one to leave. Through a twist of events I ended up serving as a staff member at this church. I love this church with my whole heart! This, being a new church in Hollywood, attracted almost 90% of millennials. After attending this church for two years, I moved up to Sacramento to a church that is alm...

When I dropped out of beauty school I made the promise to live a fully obedient life to Christ. When I decided to leave a beautiful life in LA and move to Sacramento, I made the promise to put down my plans and to always go when and where God tells me to go. Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans but the Lord determines our steps." People ask have asked me what I want to do with my life or what is my plan, and I never knew fully how to answer that question because my answer was never a generic "pastor" or "stay at home wife" or any one specific thing. But I have finally came to the realization of what I do want to do for the rest of my life and that is walk in full  obedience to Christ, whatever that may look like and wherever that may take me. If God directs me to be a marketing director in Sacramento, I will be a marketing director in Sacramento, if God calls me to preach to young girls all over the world, I will go preach to young girls all over the w...